Never Apologize for Living
Lately I am noticing people around me are apologizing for things that don't make sense to apologize for. Perhaps it is because I need to take a look at this for my own self and adjust a few things...
I will clarify, I believe there is a definite time and place to apologize, for example if we have done something intentional or unintentional to hurt another. That is a time to apologize, and explain oneself.
Sometimes saying "sorry" for is such a habit we don't even recognize we do it.
The other day, Stephanie and I were planning our Fire Soul goodness and laying out pieces of the live circle, and one solid reminder we wanted to make sure to watch ourselves with the words "I'm sorry" when we share experiences, share life. Too often I find people apologizing for being emotional, not just women, but men too! What is wrong with having emotion and sharing it or accidentally allowing others to see it that you are human, a naturally emotional creature. Or we apologize because we think we said too much, or inconvenience people for sharing the same space as them. When people pass a little too close in the grocery isle, they say "I'm sorry". When someone has to reach around you to grab something, they apologize. What happened to the simple statement of "excuse me"? Or sometimes in public places I am in someones way, and they just stand there, waiting for me to move or something, and I have no idea they are there until they awkwardly try to squeeze by without touching me, and then it makes everything awkward. As I said before, what happened to the simple communication of saying "excuse me"?
When my children do this it drives me nuttzo! If they are first learning to do certain types of chores, such as working with our gardening equipment, or folding clothes (when they are younger), I will let them watch me, and they will try, then I will usually need to correct how they do it to teach them. They look at me and say "Oh, sorry." AAAHH!! It's like nails on a chalk board. They can sense my frustration as I correct them on that. ;-) I will tell them, pretty directly, "You did nothing wrong, you are learning. Be teachable, no need to say your sorry for anything, just say 'ok'."
I also remember when I was young, my dad would have a strong opinion about the food. He definitely got Hangry. When I was a young teen I remember the day my mom stopped apologizing for not making that particular meal the way he expected. She got straight up calm-sassy, made a brief statement of what she had been dealing with that day with the 6 kids and care of the home and told him something like "You don't need to talk to me like that, and this is what we are having for dinner, and if you don't like it you are welcome to make yourself something else." BOOM!! That was a pretty kickass move Mom!
Why is that!!?? Why do we feel like we have to apologize for living? To be honest, we actually never do anything wrong. Who's doing the judging whether it is right or wrong anyway? But that get's into a whole other subject of living a life understanding consequences, and knowing that choices are not right or wrong, and how one feels when they make the choice, and the consequences that come with them. It just IS.
So may I just present a challenge for you.... When you catch yourself saying "I'm sorry" stop immediately and say "Oh I mean, OK" or "Oh I mean, excuse me." Give it a try. Stop apologizing for living!
I will clarify, I believe there is a definite time and place to apologize, for example if we have done something intentional or unintentional to hurt another. That is a time to apologize, and explain oneself.
Sometimes saying "sorry" for is such a habit we don't even recognize we do it.
The other day, Stephanie and I were planning our Fire Soul goodness and laying out pieces of the live circle, and one solid reminder we wanted to make sure to watch ourselves with the words "I'm sorry" when we share experiences, share life. Too often I find people apologizing for being emotional, not just women, but men too! What is wrong with having emotion and sharing it or accidentally allowing others to see it that you are human, a naturally emotional creature. Or we apologize because we think we said too much, or inconvenience people for sharing the same space as them. When people pass a little too close in the grocery isle, they say "I'm sorry". When someone has to reach around you to grab something, they apologize. What happened to the simple statement of "excuse me"? Or sometimes in public places I am in someones way, and they just stand there, waiting for me to move or something, and I have no idea they are there until they awkwardly try to squeeze by without touching me, and then it makes everything awkward. As I said before, what happened to the simple communication of saying "excuse me"?
When my children do this it drives me nuttzo! If they are first learning to do certain types of chores, such as working with our gardening equipment, or folding clothes (when they are younger), I will let them watch me, and they will try, then I will usually need to correct how they do it to teach them. They look at me and say "Oh, sorry." AAAHH!! It's like nails on a chalk board. They can sense my frustration as I correct them on that. ;-) I will tell them, pretty directly, "You did nothing wrong, you are learning. Be teachable, no need to say your sorry for anything, just say 'ok'."
I also remember when I was young, my dad would have a strong opinion about the food. He definitely got Hangry. When I was a young teen I remember the day my mom stopped apologizing for not making that particular meal the way he expected. She got straight up calm-sassy, made a brief statement of what she had been dealing with that day with the 6 kids and care of the home and told him something like "You don't need to talk to me like that, and this is what we are having for dinner, and if you don't like it you are welcome to make yourself something else." BOOM!! That was a pretty kickass move Mom!
Why is that!!?? Why do we feel like we have to apologize for living? To be honest, we actually never do anything wrong. Who's doing the judging whether it is right or wrong anyway? But that get's into a whole other subject of living a life understanding consequences, and knowing that choices are not right or wrong, and how one feels when they make the choice, and the consequences that come with them. It just IS.
So may I just present a challenge for you.... When you catch yourself saying "I'm sorry" stop immediately and say "Oh I mean, OK" or "Oh I mean, excuse me." Give it a try. Stop apologizing for living!
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